Friendship Quiz for Girls ages 8-12

adapted from: http://spoonful.com/sites/default/files/0604sleepovergoodfriendquiz.pdf

FRIENDSIP QUIZ

1. Some friends in your group are making fun of your best friend’s new glasses. You…

a. join in

b. say nothing

c. tell them they’re just jealous of her new look and then walk away

2. You really want to be Goldilocks, the best part in the school play- (the main characters in Goldilocks and the 3 Bears). You try out, but your best friend ends up getting the part and you have to play the baby bear. You…

a. Tell your friend she will be a great “Goldilocks” and ask her if she wants to practice with you sometime

b. Tell her that you would have been a better Goldilocks, but at least you got your second favorite part in the play

c. Decide you are not going to be in the play if you can’t get the part you wanted and decide not to talk to your friend anymore

3. You tell your best friend you’re getting a new dog and you’re going to name her Sparkles. Next thing you know, she’s got a new dog named Sparkles! You

a. yell at her for copying you and tell her to ­find a new friend

b. go ahead and name your dog Sparkles – besides, your dog is cuter!

c. choose another name for your dog and teach her to attack your former best friend’s dog (kidding!)

4. You’re home and VERY VERY sick with the fl­u. Your best friend never calls or stops by to see how you’re doing. So when she comes down with the ­flu a week later, you

a. decide to be a kinder, gentler best friend and bring her a get-well care package

b. don’t call. Two can play this game.

c. call her, then tell her in a dramatic way how horrible you felt and how gross it was the whole time you had the flu and that it will probably get worse!

5. You and Suzie made plans to go to the mall. Then Brianna calls and invites you to go to Dave and Buster’s. You love Dave and Buster’s! You…

a. tell Suzie about Brianna’s invite and ask if it’d be all right if the two of you went to the mall the next day (since you don’t get to go to Dave and Buster’s that often)

b. politely thank Brianna for the invite but tell her you already have plans

c. tell Brianna, “Yes! I’ll be ready in 10,” then call Suzie with a made-up story about not feeling well

6. You and some friends are planning on going to the skating rink. You really don’t want to invite your friend Alex because she’s so bad at skating, it’s embarrassing. After thinking about it, you

a. invite her. After all, she’s only going to embarrass herself.

b. don’t invite her. Hey, you’re saving her from embarrassment!

c. invite her, then schedule some practice time before hand to help her out

7. Your friend borrows one of your favorite shirts. When she returns it, she thanks you, but doesn’t mention the big stain on the front of it. You

a. scream at her for ruining your favorite shirt, then demand that she pay you in full for it

b. ask her calmly what happened; maybe there’s a good explanation.

c. don’t say anything, but vow to borrow one of her favorite shirts in the future and ruin it!

Now, add up your points to see what kind of friends you are!

1. a=1, b=2, c=3

2. a=3, b=2, c=1

3. a=1, b=3, c=2

4. a=3, b=2, c=1

5. a=2, b=3, c=1

6. a=2, b=1, c=3

7. a=2, b=3, c=1

18-21 Points: Great Friend.

Your friends are really lucky to have you for a pal, and you’ve probably got some good buds around you, too. You will have many friendships that will last a lifetime.

10-17 Points: Fairly good friend.

You strike a nice balance of being fair to your friends and sticking up for yourself when problems arise. This year, your circle of friends will grow even bigger.

7-10 Points: Fair weather friends.

You are a good friend as long as things are going your way, but as soon as your friends goof up- whoosh, you’re gone! Try to lighten up a bit and weather the storms with your friends- good times are ahead for you this year.

Conversation Starters & Hypothetical Situations for Adolescents and Teens

Kick Start: Should violent video games be banned for children under a certain age?  If so, what age?  If not, why not?

Kick Start: Is fairness the same as treating everyone equally?  Can a teacher be fair while treating different students differently?

Kick Start: Consider the following situation: Jared is a very good student who gets good grades and does not usually get in trouble.  William has been suspended three times already this semester and has Cs and Ds in most of his classes.  Both Jared and William get caught while vandalizing the boys’ bathroom.  The assistant principal decides to give Jared five days of in-school suspension while William is suspended for 10 days out of school.  What do you think about the difference in these punishments? Is this fair?

Kick Start: Jennifer knows her parents won't let her go to a party if they find out the host's parents are out of town. Should she lie about it?

Kick Start: What do you do when your friend's dad comes to drive you home from the movie theater, and you can tell that he's drunk?

Designing a Dream House: Drawing & Thinking about a "Safe Place"

Issues: Powerlessness, insecurity.

Purpose: To help children design their dream house.

Materials: Crayons or markers, large construction paper, rulers, pencils, and a sample house plan.

Procedure: Discuss the importance of dreams and the ability to think about our dreams whenever we want to. Give each child paper, markers, and other materials necessary to design their dream house. Encourage the children to draw plans of a dream house that they can visit whenever they need to. Younger children can describe the floor plan to you. You can draw the floor plan. They can fill in the details.

Suggestions: Talk about safe places and how everyone needs such a place. Ask them how a safe place would feel to them. Then have them look at their dream house. Is there a safe place for them there? How could they change their plan to include such a place?

Source: Making it Better: Activities for Children living in a Stressful World, Barbara Oehlberg, Redleaf Press, 1996

Caring Coupons

Color Out All of the Anger and Sadness

Purpose: To teach children they have the ability to change their feelings and to comfort themselves.

Materials: Crayons and unlined paper.

Procedure: Suggest that children, when they need to, take a red-orange crayon and color out all the anger within them. Ask if they can feel the anger moving through their arms and hands as it leaves their body and becomes color on the page.

Suggest that children, when they need to, take a blue crayon and do the same to color out all the sadness or loneliness within them.

Ask the children what they can do, if they want to, to change their feelings. Ask what color they would color themselves when they choose to get angry when another person is angry. Then ask them what color they would color themselves not to get angry when another person is angry.

Source: Making it Better: Activities for Children living in a Stressful  World, Barbara Oehlberg, Redleaf Press, 1996

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve: Healing Play

Issues: Unexpressed Feelings

Purpose: To help children identify, respect, and communicate feelings.

Materials: Variety of colored paper hearts (laminated hearts are an option) and double stick tape or regular masking tape.

Procedure: Post colored hearts on a wall along with a list of suggested meaning for colors. You may use the list here or encourage children to select their own meanings for the colors.

Blue: Sad

Blue Green: Worried

Brown: Frustrated

Dark Green: Comforted

Gold: Strong

Green: Cooperative

Navy Blue: Scared

Orange: Angry

Pink: Jolly or silly

Purple: Betrayed

Red: Happy

Silver: Lonely, brittle, cold inside

Yellow: Hopeful

Encourage the children to wear hearts, when they want, to communicate how they are feeling. You and other adults should participate. The hearts could be reusable and stored in a special place.

Source: Making it Better: Activities for Children living in a Stressful  World, Barbara Oehlberg, Redleaf Press, 1996

Magical Glasses: Activities Using Healing Play

Issues: Distrust of environments and adults.

Purpose: To provide opportunities to build security and trust.

Materials: Children’s plastic sunglasses and several pieces of different colored cellophane.

Procedure: Give a child different colored cellophane and encourage them to look through different colors. Discuss how items in the room, such as classmates, look through different colors but stay the same without the colored cellophane. Introduce and explain the statement “looking at the world through rose-colored glasses” means everything looks bright and hopeful. Consider these questions for discussion: How might someone use their imagination to change the way a place looked and how they felt about it? Looking through what colors might make a place look safe? Comforting? Peaceful? Relaxing?

Encourage the child to wear their sunglasses if they need or want to change their view of the room so it is more comfortable for them.

Source: Making it Better: Activities for Children living in a Stressful  World, Barbara Oehlberg, Redleaf Press, 1996

Make a Heart Map for Valentine's Day

This Valentine’s Day, why don’t you try something different? .

What You Need:Plain white paper
Marker or crayons

Journal It

Keeping a journal is a way to record daily events and thoughts. Explain what it is and discuss topics that can be written about, such as making a new friend, an interesting activity just completed or how you felt on the first day of school. Try to come up with new ideas. Write about your favorite sports and classes or just about how you feel. Journaling can be a great way to express emotions and problems can seem easier once you’ve written them down instead of storing them in your head. This can be private; however, you can also share with each other.

Talking About Feelings/ Short Story

Talking about our feelings can be difficult and sometimes people keep them bottled up inside. Sometimes it can make us feel better if we tell someone how we are feeling. Practice talking about feelings by writing a short story using at least three words from the “Pleasant Feelings” and the “Difficult/Unpleasant” categories below. 

Great Anti-Bullying Website

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

A fantastic website that children, teens, and anyone else can use to help prevent or stop bullying.